Long time no blog, huh?
Life got a little hectic since school started. A lot of big changes have happened and it’s taking me a little awhile to get used to it. God is definitely working in my life and right now and I’ve having a bit of a hard time trying to decode all of his desires for me.
So, to put it simple, my boyfriend of almost 3 years and I broke up about a month ago. It was bit earth shaking moment to me because I was fairly certain he was the one I was suppose to be married to. But God had been pulling on his heart for awhile to follow His will, and after several days of meditation I finally accepted it. I decided to not fight against what God is calling him to do. And no, he’s not becoming a priest haha.
Sometimes what God wants for you isn’t really what you want to do. I’ve learned that over the past few weeks. I’ve also learned that what God wants for you is SO much better than you could ever imagine. I keep telling myself that when I’m having my rough moments. Right now, I can’t fully understand God’s plan for me. But that’s okay because I know I’m not the first one to struggle with that.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6
For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death. – Psalm 48:14
In my time of weak moments I am learning to rely more on the Lord everyday. Through this separation I’ve noticed that my relationship with God isn’t near as strong as it should be. I want Jesus Christ’s love to completely fill my heart and I want that love to glow so brightly that others can see it. I want to stable and secure myself down as a woman of Christ and in the past I haven’t been able to do that. I need to fall completely in love with Jesus Christ before I could even consider becoming a wife or mother…because I want to be the best wife or mother possible, and I can’t do that with a second rate version of myself.
Through all of this I’m learning to trust God and His plan. I’m learning to discover parts of myself that I like and don’t like. Aspects I want to change or improve. This journey has been tough, but honestly I’m happier this way. Plus, I’m pretty excited to see what God has in store of me.
I hope all of you guys are doing well. I’ll try to get back on track and regularly writing! Til then, God bless.